Webinar Replay — Power-Up Your Performance
[Rachael Sampson]
Hello, everyone! I am Rachel Sampson, National Director of Women and Head of Community Banking at Keybank, and I want to welcome all of you to our program today. As we reach the midpoint of the year. I don't know about you, but I can't believe it. It flew. But it's a perfect time to reflect on our goals, reset our intentions, and make any necessary adjustments to ensure that the back half of the year is just successful, as the 1st half. When we think about the success and potentially any missteps or failures surrounding New Year's resolutions. And what we do at the start of the year, the results are pretty staggering. According to a study done by Harvard Business School, nearly 80% of all New Year resolutions are abandoned by February. While 46% of adults still stick to their resolutions. After 6 months. Only 9% of adults keep their resolutions all year long. These statistics can simple can similarly apply to established business goals and objectives. And that's really what we're going to explore and delve into today. So regardless of where you are on your career journey, your business stage, or what your relationship demands, are at home. Our presenter will share foundational practices and principles that will help you identify actions that you can take starting today to help you stay on track while focusing on you, your business and your career. So today I am pleased to be joined by Dr. Darlene Thompson. Darlene is founder and principal consultant of rise on Llc. A boutique talent advisory firm, committed to empowering leaders and organizations in their pursuit of growth and innovation. Rhizan offers customized evidence, based talent, solutions to guide succession planning, executive coaching and leadership development. She's an organizational psychologist with deep expertise in executive coaching, talent and succession, management, leadership, development and organizational effectiveness. Darlene has over 15 years of experience in fortune. 500 companies, driving individual, team and organizational performance through innovative talent, solutions, backed by science and industry, best practices. Darlene has built a wonderful reputation as a trusted advisor, and who finds simplicity among complexity clarifies future vision and minds hidden opportunities. So, Darlene, thank you so much for being with us today. Please take it away.
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
Looks like we can see everything. Let me go ahead and jump into presentation mode. So I could not have asked for a better opening. As we think about this midpoint of the year, I wanted to share, in addition to the statistics that Rachel shared. Why, this is such a near and dear topic to me. As an organizational psychologist as well as. A business. Professional performance and motivation are just the key core part of what I do date in and day out, and it's just a passion for me. So, as I think about and reflect on my career, I've spent a tremendous amount of time with leaders. Really focusing on that beginning of the year. Focusing on the beginning of the year and setting up the right goals, setting those goals that makes sense, cascading those goals. One of the areas of improvement that I've seen the most is on monitoring the goals. Often as we're looking at performance throughout the year, we're looking at a check of did I do it? Did I not do it? Getting yourself in a in a place where you're looking at your goals at a deeper level is one of the things that can really help to drive performance without depleting all of our energy. And that's really what I wanna talk with you about today. When talk about, how do you drive your performance. But then, again, not really depleting all of that so wonderful energy that you've worked so hard to make.
So at the end of this conversation, I'm hoping that you're feeling. I'm hoping that you're feeling motivated, and there are some nuggets of truth that you can take back into your organizations or just into your personal lives, to make these things come true or reality. As we think about performance and what it takes to to drive performance and goals. I'm gonna talk about this framework that are the 3 C's. It's around. So celebrating our successes. It's around communicating. So, continuing to have an ongoing conversation with those stakeholders, we'll get deeper into that. It's about recharging or charging up. Consistently. We'll talk on and off around this idea of burnout. And how do we. Keep it at bay throughout the year, and charging up is really a big part of that breaking, that stress cycle that happens as we're in high performance modes. Pursuing a goal. Often we don't take a minute to just break the cycle, and our brains and our bodies are in this. This stress cycle of motion. And that's really tiring. So as you think about driving for success, because I I will say I'm action, oriented, achievement driven person. So this idea of driving for performance is something that I say often. I often remind myself, though, that to drive a long distance you do have to stop and refuel. So I want you to get some things, help you stop and refuel out of this conversation.
Now, before we get into the 3 C's. No performance or goal conversation would be complete without touching on the topics of goal setting. So wanna share just some quick highlights on goal setting. Whether you've done this already. Or whether you're in the process. I'm hoping you'll you'll get some. Some information here. So. Strong performance is really based in setting what I call wise goals. Now, wise goals are different than smart goals. You may be familiar with the acronym smart. Which means specific. Measurable, attainable. Relevant and time bound. This is something that we talk about, often within organizations, within teams, as a way of evaluating whether or not a goal is a good goal. Smart is a great acronym, is extremely useful for evaluating the way a goal is stated. It's not always the best in helping us to select the right goals.
Nor does it answer the question of what should I do with the goal? Once I have it. So that goes into the bucket, though of what is a wise goal. So in a wise goal, you're looking for a goal that is meaningful to you. You'll hear me talk a lot about the word. You'll hear the words.
Intention and impact a lot throughout this conversation a meaningful goal. Is a goal that will have impact that you or your team, your organization can really see and feel and feels tangible. So that is that part of goal setting that that brings the person into it. The goal needs to be specific. Good enough to say I'm gonna increase my sales this year.
Increasing your sales. What does that mean? What's the number that you're shooting for? Is there a target audience that you're going after? Is there a new market as specific as you can get about the goal. The research will tell us that that specificity. Helps to charge our brains in a way that gives us thet he belief. That we know where we're going.
It's kinda like getting in a car and saying I'm just gonna drive to the East Side.
Well, where am I going? How am I getting there? The specificity of the directions. Where am I? Where am I? Where's my end? Destination, where the directions where the speed limits are, there speed traps all that helps. So specificity is a positive. And then the goal needing to be challenging. Our brains also are just amazing in that part of our brain likes to be on automatic.
So taking shortcuts. There's another part of our brain that's extremely complex. And it wants to be challenged. Our brain tells us there is a goal that is too easy. We'll do that later. If a goal seems challenging to start. But within reach. We tend to be more engaged.
So looking for a goal that is challenging. But within the span of our controls. The other piece is close deadlines, and we'll talk a little bit more about this often, as we said our goals for the year within a business. So within a team, or even if you're, you know, New Year's resolution is to I don't know. Read a hundred books. Whatever those things are, if I'm gonna do it in 12 months. That's a pretty long deadline. It makes me feel. Like. I have a lot of time, so I might not spend as much effort. Because I think that my brain is is interpreting that longer timeline. To me it's not imminent.So, looking at the timeline, you can put a round goal is very important. And then the other piece of it is publicment. All the same things apply in terms of who you're committing to, but going out and creating this social uncontract with another individual or individuals saying that I am going to do this thing. Gives us this sense of obligation to follow through. So these are the things that you really need to think about with making wise goals, and then you kind of check with smart goals. I will say happily, that is, I work with a lot of clients and organizations. They have the goal setting up front, and, you know, fairly intact. One of the areas is that tends to be challenging is not taking the context into consideration. There's so much effort put into setting the right goal. You know, phrasing the right goal. Then we go into crock pot mode of set it and forget it. It just the world doesn't work like that. The world is constantly changing. So we constantly have to monitor. Do these goals fit? What new information is coming in from the external environment. And that is.
What I want to talk about. Really, briefly, we live in a Vuka world. For those of you who may not have seen this term before. Vuka, which means volatility, complexity, and ambiguity. Was a phrase that came out of military work. And really it's found its way over decades into organizations and. Obviously, I'm talking today. Psychology as well as talent management work. So in leadership, the idea behind book is really can be summed up as changes constantly going on in our environment. And if we set a goal. But we don't at least acknowledge that our org, our world, is constantly changing around us. We may lose track of what's really important, or we make it swept away by other things that are pulling our attention. And we're not focusing on the goal. And we're contemplating the goal fish around out there, and possibly even some anxiety or noise for other people that have to follow that goal. So as we think about this idea of Luca and the Google world that we live in. We're really trying to do a few things. We can't come down.
All of these factors on the left side of the slide. But what we can do is we look at goal. Setting our goals in general is, make sure that as things are changing around us. We are relating the goals back to our vision. So this is why, even in this volatile market. We're gonna continue to to go forward with this goal or given this volatility, a new goal is more important that relates better to our vision. That's piece of it, just to make sure that people feel calm and feel like they can continue to move forward. That's also part of making sure that stress is managed for ourselves and our team. Uncertainty often plays out as a lack of safety in others. If a market is becoming uncertain, if the environment is uncertain, because. A new technology is introduced. I work with a lot of leaders who are concerned about AI. And their concern for their business, but they're also concerned for their team members. That don't see themselves in an AI future. Well. The response there is. How do you create that psychological safety for individuals that shows them a path. Of how they still fit within this. Environment, even though it has uncertainty. What's the value that they bring to the table? Then there's a piece of just complexity. Working with a client who is expanding into Canada recently. And their big thing was I. I'm now. I'm working across time zones. Now I'm working across borders.
I'm also working across languages because they speak French. So this complexity was really overwhelming. It's like, Okay, well, let's clarify what we do know about the situation. To be able to. In some ways I love simplicity. I know it's not always the answer, but clarity can lead to at least the feeling of simplicity. So just getting things. Is, is clear as possible in terms of what we have going on and what responses do we have can really be helpful. And the overall idea just ambiguity. We don't know. And we'll talk about this with goaling. Sometimes goals are relatively ambiguous because the environment is ambiguous. So that's where we just have to use an agility and flexing in and learning how to let go and incorporate new information, kind of consistently throughout. Throughout our year. So big thing here is change is constant. To really be successful. We have to embrace. At least the idea that change is constant, and have an answer to that.
So let's go into the Cs. The 1st piece that we've set your perfect goal. We understand that we are in a Vuka environment. So now we're gonna talk about the seas. When is celebrate.
But before we do.If you have a pen and paper, or however you choose to make recordings of your thoughts, I'd love for you to take a few seconds. And write down 2 goals that you have. Set for yourself or for your team, for your business, your organization, just 2 goals out of any of those domains. It can be different domains. I just want you to write those out. So you have them in front of you as we talk about the sees. Because I want this conversation to have a little bit of teeth to it. And also we can take some of the ambiguity out. Something to sit here and pause. So I know that wasn't a ton of time. You're still writing. That's okay. But let's look at. I want you to think about those goals that.
Writing out, right now. And think about, how do you implement some of these Cs.In furtherance of those goals. So the 1st C. And one that we hear a lot. But there is a ton of science behind. It is on celebrate. And what I've done is, I think, about, I think, about celebrating in 2 phases. One is the actual celebration. 2 is taking time to calibrate those goals, because as much as we would all love. For us to be able to celebrate through confetti in the air and be done with things usually. There is a second part of that goal. So I'm advocating for. Smaller celebrations of smaller winds that are more frequent. And then more quick calibrations to make sure that any changes to the plan can be made.
So. When we think about celebrating a goal. Or celebrating the 1st part is, What are our goals? Let's reflect on those. You have your 2 in front of you right now. Part of it is the winds, and I think this is where many of us have already become comfortable. Maybe we're not always doing it. But become comfortable with the importance of acknowledging when so these are the actual achievements along the way. The reason that acknowledging so important is that, as we acknowledge and we celebrate because there's bonus points for celebrating together, and we celebrate our brain releases dopamine. This is a feel good hormone. It helps us to stay focused. It helps us to get excited. It helps us to drive ourselves so that dopamine that's released is really helpful in continuing to be motivated. Celebrating a win is one of the best ways of maintaining motivation that I've ever seen work. And this is coming from someone who is. A recovering.Ignore of the winds, because I have other things to focus on. So. Just know it truly does work. So celebrating those winds, and then to take that to another level which is to acknowledge the impact. It's a simple statement that I often ask people to complete, which is that. I achieved X. So that I can do. Why. So whatever that is that, why is the impact. So someone I was speaking with. They were talking about achieving a rollout. So they were. Actually, they were like, I completed my 1st town hall.
That's fantastic. Why is that important though. What does that allow you? Well, it allows me to connect with more people. It allows me to be a more effective leader. It allows me to see myself in this organization. And really by asking yourself, why is this important or asking your teams? Why is this important? It helps to bring that connectivity to meaning.
So I want you to really up your game on how you are celebrating your role. Your wins. But then the next piece is on calibration. This is an opportunity to say Great! We won. Here's where we're doing well. Here's what our progress looks like. What are we doing next in calibration? It's on again assessing the goals, reviewing the plan. Then there's a decision that we often need to make. Do we continue with our plan.
Or. Do we change course? Obviously, if things are rolling easily, continuing. Sometimes we had some turbulence along the way, and this right or the right hand side of the slide, is about that turbulence is you hit turbulence. These are 4 things to consider. So, when. Are when a goal gets hard. We actually have a part of our brain that is fabulous. at monitoring. The amount of effort that we expanded. Towards a goal versus the progress that we've made. So in my brain if I'm expending a lot of energy towards a goal. But I'm making very little progress. This little monitor inside my brain is going aboard aboard. We're done, we're done. This is everything is bad. Well, say. Like help calm that part of my brain down. I can try things like positive appraisal or reappraisal. This is more than turning lemons into lemonades, or looking on the bright side. This is leaning into the idea that a task is difficult. But it is worth it.
That difficulty is worth it. So what is it about? The difficulty. That you've learned to appreciate. And what is it that's been really helpful? A lot of time this shows up in the form of growth and development opportunities and helps to have a growth mindset. So this, this is saying like the journey is worth it. There's some lesson in the journey itself. So if I take that example of a client who's expanding into Canada.
That's a pretty challenging thing for that person, and she's working really hard, and she has said several times, she's not sure it's worth it. See. But what if she learned. She's learned a lot about international laws. She's made great connections across the border. She feels more stable in her business, and all of those learnings came from the difficult part of it not necessarily outcome, and the expansion. So that's what positive reappraisal is. Then you have to. You have another option. Let's say positive reappraisal. Which is great for folks that are already optimistic, maybe more challenging from the pessimistic of us. Then you have redefining.
So this isn't just changing the goals completely. But it's actually looking to maybe break that goal apart, to make that goal be something that is more incremental. So in the 10 the world of I really want to be a senior Vice President in 5 years. That is a long shot. That's a lot of work. Maybe you want to look at different steps that you're trying to achieve along the way. I also think about another example with redefining, which was for myself, I was presenting to a very difficult audience. They were very metrics driven, and I had a mistake on one of my slides. It wasn't really a mistake, but they they viewed it as a mistake. We got into this conversation over the slide. It was not helpful. So my goal going in the next time change from. My goal is to win this group over to my goal is to win over Craig because Craig was the biggest dissenter. So I knew that if I could, just the next time in front of this group went over this one person versus the 13. That was going to be my win. So I changed. What winning looks like in that situation. And also I was able to more solidly understand over Craig look like versus everyone. That really helped me quite a bit, for the second one is on reframing what failure really is. So this is not saying, Hey, we all get a participation trophy. Everyone did good today. Let's not reframing. Refining failure is similar in some ways to positive reappraisal in terms of looking for the benefit. But this is also looking for What else did you? What else did you pick up? What else did you learn but you? You did fail, I think sometimes we just have a dichotomy with failure. Either I did it or I didn't do it. And there's nothing in between. And for those individuals struggling with perfectionist issues. Leaning into understanding. Why did the failure take place? What really went wrong to laying out the facts of things. Because that can help. Correcting the course, feel more realistic. Is really important, and then. What did you actually learn from it? So understanding that it's a failure, not sweeping it under the rug. Right, sizing the failure in terms of what really happened. And then what did you learn? All 3 positive reappraisal, redefining, reframing are really helpful. In driving motivation to keep up with difficult times.
Now. Sometimes you've tried everything or the course and the environment is telling you this is not the right thing. Just as important as being able to continue with the goal is equally important to know when a goal no longer serves you or your purpose. And that is understanding when to let go, and having the courage to do so. It's not as easy as throwing your hands up and saying, I give it's done. No, in understanding. Let go. I want you to think about. What are the benefits. And the cost of continuing with a goal. What are the benefits? Long term short term cost long term. Short term. Of staying, and then the same thing. What are the long term and short term cost. Of leaving. This is a simple 4 blocks. Filling out and taking time to pour out what is going on. This is something you can do by yourself. You may do this with a team. You may do this by yourself, and then review it with a coach, a mentor, a personal board of directors. However, you need to do this exercise. If you are thinking about, no matter how big or small. Letting go of a goal. I really recommend you. Sit down and look at that cost benefit for leaving and staying.
So. All of these things and out the way throughout all of these you are learning how to celebrate. Yourself, and look at your winnings and your accomplishments and your impact with compassion. This is one step in deferring burnout. So I spent a lot of time on celebrate, because that is one that we just kinda like. I feel I often see us simplifying. We have capes, we have parties, we have balloons, and we're done is so much more in this structure helps to put some some additional hopefully additional tools in your toolkit on how to celebrate. And calibrate. So you go forward with that momentum. Moving into the second half of the year.
The next piece is also challenging, even though it seems so simple. Communicate what you've done in the celebration of calibration, setting. So I really want you, as you look at your goals, to think about who do. I need to communicate these goals to, and any changes that you've made.
Whether the change is to stay the course, or whether it is a change, or just to stay the course. How are you going back out to your team, your stakeholders, your best friend, your board of directors, whoever it is that you find important going back out to them and sharing what you've noticed. And what's that? Update the goal here is that you can set expectations. You set expectations on. What can we expect from you? What do you need from us as your support network. I've even shared expectations and encourage people to share expectations about work with home. Though, hey? I really had planning. I really know that I want to go out for this role. Significant, other. and in doing so this may require me to have slightly longer hours. Let's talk about what that looks like because I need your support. It's as simple as that sometimes, but sometimes it's also a little bit scary, because we don't know how the other person's going to react, and what I have seen is that most of the time. People are in yours. Network is engaged. They want to see you succeed. They want to be part of the solutioning of what's going on again. Specific on any particular area, but the only part of the solutioning. They want to help the path. And they want to celebrate with you again. This gives you that extra dose of celebration. So just this again, another opportunity as an example. Working with somebody who. Wanted to bring out or wanted to roll out a new software. And rolling out this new software, they decide to do it in the middle of the year. They felt it was a smaller spend than it was. Well, they didn't have the budget. It wasn't gonna work. So the recommendation and the decision that they made so. Pull a seat next to their accounting partner. And in having that conversation and bringing their accounting partner into the full, those 2 were able to collaborate. And create a plan that they were able to present. And get more money in the budget. But that wouldn't have happened in terms of smoothing the path that person had set on. Their change in direction, and worked in a silo. So, hopefully. can be able to to communicate, communicate, share, share, and sharing with candor. Transparency. It builds so much goodwill. And then finally. Charging up. Recharging whatever is you need to do. So you've communicated. But maybe you're still a little tired. So are your teams tired. This is the the big bad burnout. So as we look at Burnout, I wanna share Different ways that we see burnout. Coming through burnout can be seen as lower energy levels. It's the I just don't feel like it. It's the cynicism. Feeling like your work doesn't matter. It's a decrease in effectiveness. I just can't seem to make progress here, or either overall apathy. Surprisingly burnout has been labeled and acknowledged and studied since the 1970 S. And we're still struggling with it, and it's probably just recently become more mainstream in the last 20 or so years, maybe even 10 years.
That leaders are talking about burnout from the idea of their teams are working long hours. Or their teams are working really hard and a lot of energy to be productive. So the leaders concerned about burnout. Yes, that is absolutely something. That commonly happens with burnout. There's another side of burnout that I'm seeing more and more with one on one clients. And my coaching practice, which is a burnout related to passion. I love this work so much. I poured my heart and soul into it. But now I'm ready to walk away from it. That is also burnout. We don't think about burnout being an outcome of being very passionate. So with that. Whether or not it's. You know, pushing a team, driving a team really hard and not stopping for refuel, because in pursuit of an achievement. Or whether or not it's a passion that's driving you, and it feels really good. And taking a pause and taking a break is really important. To help alleviate burnouts as we think about burnout. What can you possibly do here?
So one of the ways that burnout can be at least diminished is continuing to connect to your mission and values. This is not just your company mission and values. This can be your individual mission and values. If you're an entrepreneur. It's the why did you start this? If you are a parent. Taking care of your children, or you are a adult child taking care of a loved one whatever ways, and maybe burnout. Actually stopping. This is not doing it while you're driving. It's not doing it while you're listening to a podcast is not doing it while you're running, but really stopping. And I find writing out that mission and values and seeing where there is or is not alignment for you. It's really the most helpful. The other ways that burnout creeps in is when we feel stagnant, and we feel a lack of control so flexing in with creativity or autonomy helps us to. Really show where we can have control. So as you're looking at a particular goal, what are the things that you can control. What are things you can control about? What makes you happy? This is where the model of balancing out workplace becomes so important in addressing burnout is sometimes it is even the flexibility of where am I working that can help to bring just that little bit of a break in the stress cycle. To give you some glimmer of it's going to be okay. Connect with your community, connect again. Your community might be sitting next to you at work. Your community might be down the hall from you. Your community may be a block party. Your community might be your dog. Whoever your community is, or your cat. Whoever your community is, connect with that community on a regular basis. This is ex. What I see extremely often with my clients that are experiencing burnout or teetering on the verge of burnout because of passion. They are so passionate they forget to lift their head up and connect, and they start to feel isolated versus being part of something bigger. And the last 2 are probably the most unpopular things about burnout, but. They're necessary. Review your workload or the workload of your team. And review your support systems. Now I will say with reviewing workload, understanding that sometimes that is outside of your control, because you're driving for a particular goal. But if you're trying to keep up the same workload at the same pace, and that is hitting all the different areas of your life. Knowing that. You know this is key for women. Most of the people out here are women. In that case women often have the second, shift. Whether you have kids or not, whether you have a partner or not. Often women work full time, and then we take on the workload of managing a household. I'm not just talking about doing the dishes. I'm talking about how everything that we have to get done in a house comes through our heads. Offloading some of that. Investigating your support. Networks is important. If you want to try to alleviate or repair yourself from burnout, and there's just nothing that we can get around that. Then the second piece is tied into this, which is rest. Rest! Rest! Rest! Rest! Rest! You cannot get around. Rest now, rests can look different for different people. I know some people that are analytical thinkers, and their rest actually looks like creativity. So, instead of being a hard driver at work. Maybe you're giving yourself a time to do more vision boarding. Maybe your team has just delivered a monstrosity of a project, and you're so excited. But instead of just going right back into that high, level productivity. You're taking some time out to do a visioning session for the future, or brainstorming or questioning whatever it is that changes the mindset can actually still count as rest. Now I do want to clarify, though that type of Russ is not the same as I only slept 4 hours that is just… You're gonna have to sleep more. But there are different ways of having more active rest that can actually be helpful. So with Burnout. You're really trying to continuously not a 1 and done not a set it and forget it. Cultivate clarity. Creativity. Compassion. And then the courage to stick to it. So. Please take one of these steps, and if you do take one of the steps to address Burnout, I'm going to insist. That it is either that one of the last 2. I'm sorry we take 2 steps, 2 steps. One of the last 2 needs to be included, either viewing your workload. And or you're getting rest, because without those the 1st 3. Are not going to get you as far.
So how do we make all this stick? I cannot imagine that this is the 1st time many of you have seen some of the information on the slides. I know that I am a voracious reader of all of these things. Study of all these things. And I still often, you know, struggle to implement implement. So I asked you at the beginning of this conversation to select those 2 goals. Now I want you to actually schedule times to implement the 3 C's for those goals. This might be weekly. If you're really really deep into it. It might need, or maybe just challenge with doing. It might be weekly. It could be monthly, it could be quarterly. It could be 15 min, if it's, you know, once a week. It could be 90 min, if it's a quarter, and you have a team. Whatever you do is the important piece of this is that this is actually work and effort, and we don't always give ourselves credit. For this being work and effort, willpower, and the stickiness factor of behavior change is effortful. So get that scheduled move through the 3 C's. Understand? Where are you? Strong. And where do you need to lean in? And then share that with others. I use the example of having a team and I'm much better at it now. But celebrating was not my strong. I shared that with my team, and I asked for help. How do you wanna be like? How do you wanna celebrate our wins? How do we notice wins. Okay, can someone help me? Remember to celebrate wins. And I actually had someone on my team help. It might not always feel in some people like that like they. Maybe they feel like I should really be the person spearheading all of this. But in fact, the importance is that it gets done. So, make sure that it gets done. Look for your network. And then, please, please. Y'all, commit to some rest. The extra rest is so important. And remember that motivation follows action. If you are waiting for inspiration in the right time to hit, to implement these things, you won't make it. So I hope that some of this information has been helpful.
I do see that there's been some great activity in the chat. So, I'm looking forward to hearing what's going on in that chat. Thank you all.
[Rachael Sampson]
Well, thank you so much, Darlene, that was so insightful again to everyone. Please submit your comments in the chat and questions we'd love to get to as many as possible. As we do that. And have your questions. Please make sure that you join us for those of you that are not already key for women members. We encourage you to. Join our program, use the QR code on the screen to be the 1st to receive our latest event. In your region insights and updates delivered directly to you. Also, you can join by going to Key.com/JoinK4W.
[Rachael Sampson]
So with that normally, let's get to it. There was so much great information. I know I live by my couple of se's. Thank you for providing me with 3 more that I can add to my repertoire here with, you know, celebrate and charge up. But I have to ask, because, you know, this is one of my questions, too. When you have so much going on, and it's interesting that you mentioned rest like I could probably count how many times you said rest. With so much in your personal lives and at home, and you know to your point around what rest looks like reading. The news for me is rest, but it's, you know, for some that is like work. But. And so I get your point around that. But in terms of just resting, how do you get over this? Sometimes Mom, guilt. Or you know, just family, and when there's so many competing, whether you have children or not, as caregivers and so many other things. How do you like get that rest? Especially if your house is like mine?
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
So I think that's so hard to answer simplistically. But really it's giving yourself permission to rest and understanding that it is required for us to sustain ourselves. I think that we, as women in particular, but our society overall we value being tired. We value not resting. And when someone does rest. You go! Wait! What do you have going on that you get to sleep 8 hours a night? You must not be doing something. So I think, turning to the idea of rest within ourselves, of compassion. But for those of us that can show compassion for others more easily than we can show compassion for ourselves. I would challenge you the next time that someone mentions how unrest they are that you dig deep inside instead of going me too, and you deserve more rest, because in telling that other person the rest that they deserve. What you're really saying is that I deserve more rest the same way, judging. So when not someone getting says they don't deserve it. So sometimes compassion for others when we're aware of it. We can start directing that to ourselves and giving ourselves permission. To put your feet up for 15 min. I mean, start slow. And then build from there.
[Rachael Sampson]
I love that I love that. And I noticed Laura in the comments that as well we need to give each other. Permission to rest and recharge. So I love that support that a lot of times. You know, we seem to think about. Our support system is just our loved ones, our immediate circle, but so many times your support system is so far beyond that.
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
Absolutely. You know whether it's your coworkers, your social network here, women, you know. And understanding that you're not alone, that it's a journey.
[Rachael Sampson]
And it's not just today. So I love that idea, you know, as you think about that. Also, it was interesting about some of the principles that you talked about and being rooted in psychology, of course, in in your degree, in that. How? How is that when you think about successfully implementing goal setting for high performers like, what role does psychology play in that? Why is it so important?
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
I think a psychology. Well, one of the things that's important is all the things day and true with. Regardless of, if you're high performer or not in goal setting for someone who is a high performer understanding what's driving that high performance is really important, because that helps to continuously push that individual from a motivational perspective. We tend to lean in more. If you're people that are high performers. Tend to lean in, more, to challenges. Because there is a new hill to conquer. There is a new event to do so that is a higher performer. I always challenge my high performing folks. To surprisingly set increasingly more challenging goals with tighter deadlines and more frequently. Like, I know, a lot of high performers, but not all that really feed off of. They get emotional. From constantly, having that change constantly, having that challenge. And one of the things that we sometimes do with high performers is we. We tend to leave them to their own devices. Because you're performing well, you're a high performer. What help do you need. What acknowledgement do you need? They need all those same things. It just looks a little bit different.
[Rachael Sampson]
Oh, that's great to hear. And you know to your point, I think that's what's interesting, right? From a performance standpoint. There's so many times that we give so much energy to underperformers in order to bring that performance up. But you know, I'd argue, as as well as probably many others actually harder, leading those higher performers, because to your point. how do you challenge them and give them opportunities? Whether you're a business owner or leading a group or thinking about, you know, emerging into a leadership position. You know. How do you set yourself up and think about providing those opportunities to keep them busy?
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
I think sometimes we fear giving high performers feedback. I don't wanna make them upset. They're doing great. That's why, whenever I hear the term. They're a rock star like. Oh, that's great! What does that mean? Where could they be better? A high performer, typically knows that there is an opportunity to get even better. And they want to have the same level of challenge that anybody else wants.
[Rachael Sampson]
So when you think about that, you know, and the flip side which I like, you know, is that we don't want to burn them out on the other side. So like, what are some practical strategies, you know. We talked a little bit about rest, but. How to prevent the burnout while still getting optimal performance for ourselves and our teams?
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
So I I think rest, but then, also switching up with the team is doing. You know, it's it's amazing how comfortable we are with the idea of cross training for anyone out there that’s ever go into the gym. You know we don't do leg day for 5 consecutive days in a row, because that muscle group needs to rest. The same way our brains need to rest. If you are doing the equivalent of leg Day in your sales, group your sales team for 6, 8, 12 months. You are going to burn out that muscle. So what is it that's switching over. That might just feel different. I've seen teams. I'm working with an It group where, they take a week, a quarter, 4 days, a quarter, and they have a conference on disruption.
Everything else shuts down. But it's a disruption contest. What can you pitch? What can you do? And it just brings out a different energy. And somehow they're okay. Again. I hope they're sleeping at night isn't rest, but. Still. Switching out that muscle and thinking about what productivity looks like does not look the same all the time. Otherwise it's boring and harmful.
[Rachael Sampson]
And I love the idea of switching it up from doing, especially an example that you gave to the more thoughtful work, mental gymnastics. How do we just continue to disrupt, innovate, and get better? I think that's good. And I think you know as we talk about forward thinking and vision, as you mentioned before, and if we do have those goals, you know, one of the questions that we got was really from someone who's talking about, you know that they want to break out a middle management and get to executive leadership in the next, maybe 5 to 10 years. What's the biggest difference that you see in the individuals, and skill sets and characteristics to vary to get you to that next level? And do you have any advice or resources that you'd recommend?
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
So the advice and resources are going to be usually within that person and their industry. But there are some things that are consistent. One of the most powerful things that I've seen is just. The idea of moving up. The further up you move, the more and more that functional expertise that you are bringing to the table, becomes less impactful is your ability to lead. So what do I mean by that? I mean your ability to hey? I used to be fantastic as data management. Oh, my goodness, give my! Give me a spreadsheet in like 30 min, and I can do amazing things. That's great, but that is not necessarily the value that I'm bringing as a senior vice President. As a senior vice President, I am looking for the next person that can. I can bring up. I'm developing. I'm getting work done through others. I'm collaborating and breaking down silos. I'm bringing in new ideas. So just lifting up. Sometimes we forget we loop. We can lose ourselves along the way. If we're not intentional about where we're going. So for that individual. Would love to, you know, challenge them to understand what are the things that are most important and valuable in their organization. In terms of moving up the ladder and what are some new skills that they don't have today that could help them to be help to in broaden their impact across the organization. Versus. You know. What is someone doing this driving only their individual performance.
[Rachael Sampson]
I love that. And I think to your point, we've been talking about. Mind shifts psychology, and I think it's different, right? There is a difference of a flip that you're talking about in terms of functional expertise and what got you to the role that you're in being successful, and especially for some where, maybe you don't have direct reports. But at the executive level you will. So how do you get experience to prepare you for leading at that 30,000 foot level and leading teams without having that potentially prior leadership experience, or having to manage that level of influence?
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
So that is always tricky, and something that we consistently talk about. One thing I challenge individuals. We talk about the word leader. And that necessarily requiring you to have a team. I have seen some amazing people. Who have led projects. They've led initiatives. They've become the glue in their organizations. And being able to influence. In a way that showed their leadership, abilities. Now. That is how you can develop that muscle looking for cross functional assignments. Looking for opportunities where again, you are leading. But honestly, one of the hardest ways of leading is leading through influence versus direct command and control. Give me a team any day sometimes, but leading through influence. And then the key piece of this Rachel. Sometimes in organizations we struggle as individuals. We struggle, is helping to make sure that people recognize that ability and that muscle that you've been building up. So you've been leading through influence. You've been part of a cross functional team. You've been an informal leader. This is the differentiator of saying, these are the things I've done versus. This is the impact that I've driven and I've driven this impact through collaboration and influence of these individuals. So don't only do the work, be able to explain the work and advocate for yourself in the muscle or the skill that you developed.
[Rachael Sampson]
I love that.
One of the books that I know that I read that I really liked was a book by Marshall Goldsmith. What got you here won't get you there.
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
Yes.
Thank you for bringing that up. I thought about that. That is a phenomenal book, and even saying. What got you here won't get you there. If you were resting on the laurels of what got you here? You were going to stay right here.
[Rachael Sampson]
I love that. Well, that's fantastic. So as we think about, too, you know, some of the things that we talked about is you know, you mentioned communicating and talking about your successes right. That there is this notion of. You know the folks that are out there that are shouting from the rooftop what they've done, which may not fit everyone's personal style. So when you think about how do we communicate and talk about our successes, and be very visible? But at the same time be very humble. How do you balance the 2 between being humble and doing the work versus like talking about the work?
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
Yeah, that's a challenge for me. Personally, you've hit a you hit a special spot in my heart. Being humble is something that is a value that was raised on. But it has to learn over years to be able to communicate my successes, and finding out a way of communicating that is authentic to me. Authenticity for me is not necessarily name. Dropping. Authenticity for me is not necessarily Linkedin post. Well, authenticity for me is being able to verbalize the value that I bring in those networking conversations that I'm having. So authenticity looks like, yeah, I'm not telling you all the list of my accomplishments. I'm telling you what value I believe I can bring to the table. So, finding out, how does that communication look. I've also challenged people to create your personal highlight. And this is something you'll have to share with anybody if you don't want to. One of the things that you're proud about then you're so comfortable with that you want to write down, and when you're having a really bad day. Or when you're getting ready to go into an interview, and you want to hype yourself up. You don't want to go through all your list of accomplishment. I just look at my highlight rule. This is what I've done. This is why it was awesome and I give myself that permission in this context to brag about myself, but it is hard. It’s very hard. You know what I'll say. One more thing on that. If you're really uncomfortable, make other people brag for you. And then this exercise recently where I created my values. And I said, These are the thing I pick 5 people. These are things that I think really drive me. This is why who were friends calling. This is why you like me right. Essentially a different version of that. But I sent it out to people. I hit I held my nose. I hit send and I was amazed with what I get back. I wanted people to fill in the statement. Darlene is her best win. Wow! Like I am. Oh, this sounds different cause. Yay! You know such and such said it. Julian said this about me. This is great now I can say it because I didn't say it.
[Rachael Sampson]
I love that I love, and I think so many times we're so hard on ourselves. I remember someone once said to me that so many times we are comparing our blooper reel with someone else's highlight reel and how do we like bring it in to really talk about and celebrate those successes? So I love that I think it's it's such a good thing when we can have others. Again, as we think about this support system like you realize how important that is. You know, to our success. You know, we've talked a lot about how do we get there? But. How do we prevent some of this from going wrong? Are there some things that we should like? Be cautious of any watch points that if you're doing, what? What does that look like.
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
So, I think I'm gonna pick on one particular area. There's so many others. But this idea of perfectionism. This is something that I have struggled with my entire life, and I see so many people coming to me, which is great that I get to help people through it, struggling with the idea of professional perfectionism. Because if it's not 100, it is a 0. You are not first, you are last mentality, and that is something that sets us up for anything whatsoever. So one of my challenges that if you, as you reflect on your goals and you see where you have not been making progress. I'm not asking you to ignore the progress deficiency that you're seeing. But instead, leaning into it and understanding. What does that failure really look like. What are the objective facts. Of what went wrong. What's in my control to fix them. Did anything good come of this, though. Like all 3 of those things. When the primary things that help us. To stave off what happens when it goes wrong, so we don't go in what I call, I call it my sneaky-hate-spiral.
[Rachael Sampson]
What say that again? That was fast.
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
My sneaky- hate-spiral.
The one thing that went wrong, and all I do is add up all the other things that went wrong. And then my emotions are flying everywhere. Well, if I just paused with the 1st thing and really scoped it out. It really wasn't that bad.
[Rachael Sampson]
I love that.
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
And maybe my emotions wouldn't have been all out of control when the second and the 3rd and maybe even they wouldn't have happened.
[Rachael Sampson]
Yes, I've got it out there, #sneakyhatespiral and I think it's true right, because to your point we reward the over production, not having rest, but we also reward perfectionism. So it's almost like this perpetual cycle that somewhat even out of our control, that if we feed into it like you get rewarded for more things. I definitely think it starts here, and I'm so glad that we've had this conversation. I know I took away a ton of nuggets. I know, Emily said. You're talking directly to me. She's talking directly to me, too. I hope you all found value in our program today, Darlene. You have been awesome. Thank you so much for being with us, and I want everyone to have a wonderful day again. If you are not part of our key for women program, community. Please join us at key.com/joink4w. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day, and Darlene, with that I will give you the last 30 seconds for closing thoughts of what do you want us to know? What do you want us to take away? Thank you so much again for being here and it’s all yours!
[Dr. Darlene Thompson]
What I want you to take away is you're wonderful as you are. You're wonderful as you are. If there are some things that you found that are gonna be helpful in being even more wonderfulness, I hope that you do that. I hope that you find value in the work that you're doing. Personally and professionally, and I hope that you please please. Get some rest.
[Rachael Sampson]
On that note. Get some rest. Have a great rest of your day. Thanks, everybody. Take care.
Staying connected to annual goals while demonstrating agility in the moment is not always easy. Implementing a simple method to acknowledge achievements and strategize for the months ahead can be the game changer you need to reach your personal and business goals.
Key4Women and Darlene Thompson share best practices for goal setting with principles rooted in psychology and implemented by high performers for an effective playbook to follow.
- Celebrate: Reflect on progress. Celebrate successes. Identify opportunities.
- Communicate: Navigate shifts. Engage stakeholders. Ask for support.
- Charge up: Energize yourself and others. Minimize burnout. Finish strong.
Speaker
Dr. Darlene J. Thompson is an Organizational Psychologist with deep expertise in executive coaching, talent and succession management, leadership development, and organizational effectiveness. Darlene has over 15 years of experience in Fortune 500 companies, driving individual, team, and organizational performance through innovative talent strategies and leadership solutions backed by science and industry best practices. Darlene has built a reputation as a trusted advisor who finds simplicity among complexity, clarifies future vision, and mines hidden opportunities.
Let’s Work Together to Achieve Your Goals.
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