What is the Double Bind, and How Can You Navigate It?
As a woman in business, you know that there are a lot of expectations placed on you. If you’re compassionate and warm, you’re considered “too friendly” to be a leader. If you’re confident and assertive, then you’re often categorized as unlikeable. It’s a frustrating conundrum to navigate. While women continue to make strides in the workforce, there are still everyday barriers, especially if you’re looking to grow into a leadership role.
This constant tug and pull of how to act is known as the double bind. Catalyst is a global nonprofit organization that helps build workplaces that work for women with preeminent thought leadership and actionable solutions. They define this double bind phenomenon as, “A psychological impasse created when contradictory demands are made of an individual...so that no matter which directive is followed, the response will be construed as incorrect.” Basically, it refers to a lose-lose situation.
For example, if you were to speak up and correct a coworker or monitor their performance, you’re deemed commanding or overbearing. Conversely, if you are compassionate and nurturing, then you may be thought of as nice but incompetent. Women often need to work harder than their male counterparts to be viewed as comparable in performance. This constant back-and-forth between maintaining likeability and proving yourself can be extremely exhausting.
Ring a bell? There’s probably been a time when you were trying to relay direction or constructive feedback but were worried about coming across as “bossy” or “abrasive.” These are words that are often used to describe women in instances in which their male counterparts would be perceived as neutral or even strong leaders. When you’re trying to keep everyone happy and do your best, your work or your mental well-being can suffer.
While you understand how exhausting this dance can be, there are strategies you can take to manage expectations and combat negative stereotypes of professional women.
First, find confidence in who you are and what you’re capable of. When you have expertise or insights in a certain area, don’t be afraid to voice them. You may still need to monitor your audience and adapt your delivery based on the environment, but remember that you’re being paid to do your best. Even if that is intimidating for others, there’s never a good reason to dull your abilities.
Also, find a strong support network of other women in your business or industry. This is a great space to vent, seek advice, and bounce ideas around. Sharing stories and speaking up is easier in numbers. Similarly, don’t be afraid to speak out when you see unfair gender bias in the workplace. Call out the behavior and offer a solution for how to improve conditions.
If you’re in a position where you evaluate other employees, make conscious efforts to use the same standards for men and women. Create an environment where all employees are celebrated and opportunities for growth are frequent.
Ultimately, dealing with gender bias and the double bind is an ongoing journey for professional women. While it can be frustrating, confusing, and downright annoying, the team at Key4Women is here to help. Whether you need advice, resources or are just looking for a network of support, our team is here to help you reach your professional and personal potential. Visit key.com/joinK4W to enroll.